Bastille Day

Bastille day 2016
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Bastille Day – Un film très moyen d’action

My head is running through the pitch for Bastille Day. Take the tough as nails, slightly rogue-ish cop from tv’s Luther and have him partner the world’s most skilled petty thief, someone a bit like that fella Neal Caffrey from White Collar, then have them take down an army of bad guys using their mad crime-fighting skills. Sounds pretty awesome on paper, and I certainly had high hopes for it.

This could have been really something. Unfortunately it winds up being a vehicle for Idris Elba to Steven Seagal his way through a bunch of bad guys while Richard Madden (Michael Mason, the skilled petty thief) whines and moans his way through a series of clichés about not being cut out for this kind of thing and the obligatory ‘can I have a gun’ scene. Possibly the most interesting character in the film becomes a passenger while Elba’s CIA Agent Sean Briar punches and shoots his way out of each new scenario.

 

Bastille day 2016

I saw the trailer to this film. It looked kinda funny. It’s not. The lady sitting behind me had this really loud, annoying laugh. Thankfully I only heard it a couple of times (and once when, really, I don’t think the writers intended her to). The chemistry between the major characters is non-existant, the development of all bar Elba’s character is given no time (and Elba’s character, Briar, is so one-dimensional that very little development was needed anyway) and the plot is just so silly that it maddens me that I don’t have the resources at my disposal to pull off the kind of heist that these criminals so hopelessly attempted (you know, when you walk out of the cinema saying ‘well I’d have done this, and then I’d have done that). Basically, anything they could do to get themselves caught, they did, using a plan so convoluted and unnecessary that it seems like they made it up using a spinning wheel to determine what they should do next.

Of course, whilst walking out of the cinema I made such remarks to my wife, whose only retort was ‘you know, some people just want to come and watch Idris Elba’. Fair enough, that, and he certainly is flavour of the month right now. Just a shame that this particular outing falls well short of the hype.

On the action-movie meter Bastille Day sits somewhere between A Good day To Die Hard and Die Hard With A Vengeance. It’s not the worst movie going around, but it’s nowhere near the greats of the action genre, and is pretty immediately forgettable.

Can’t wait for Civil War next weekend.

Explosions and Action
Chaos and Carnage
Character Creation
Novelty Factor
Sequel Worthiness

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